Full Moon Rising
by TheLostPevensie
Summary: As Bella lies bleeding on the floor of a ballet studio in Phoenix, she hears and understands Edward's impossible choice, and using the last of her strength, makes the choice herself. A one-shot fleshing out an idea that's been niggling at me for years, finally realized. Reviews are love.


**Hey all! So this is probably the only Twilight fanfic I'll ever write- I read them in middle school and was never a huge fan, and one thing that always bothered me is that a lot of the problems the characters faced in the later books could have been solved really easily (although with possible repercussions to Edward's mental health) by one small change. This is my attempt to at least pretend that happened. Oh, and just so you know, anything in italics is a quote from the book.**

 **Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight or any of the other books/movies in the series. It all belongs to Stephenie Meyer, that architect of a generation of girls who will now grow up with twisted and unrealistic expectations of romance, love, relationships, and marriage. Yay!**

* * *

… _The sharp pains were fading. There was a new pain, a scalding pain in my hand that was overshadowing everything else._

 _Someone was burning me._

" _Edward." I tried to tell him, but my voice was so heavy and slow. I couldn't understand myself._

" _Bella, you're going to be fine. Can you hear me, Bella? I love you."_

" _Edward," I tried again. My voice was a little clearer._

" _Yes, I'm here."_

" _It hurts," I whimpered._

" _I know, Bella, I know"- and then, away from me, anguished- "can't you do anything?"_

" _My bag, please… Hold your breath, Alice, it will help," Carlisle promised._

" _Alice?" I groaned._

" _She's here, she knew where to find you."_

" _My hand hurts," I tried to tell him._

" _I know, Bella. Carlisle will give you something, it will stop."_

" _My hand is burning!" I screamed, finally breaking through the last of the darkness, my eyes fluttering open. I couldn't see his face, something dark and warm was clouding my eyes. Why couldn't they see the fire and put it out?_

 _His voice was frightened. "Bella?"_

" _The fire! Someone stop the fire!" I screamed as it burned me._

" _Carlisle! Her hand!"_

" _He bit her." Carlisle's voice was no longer calm, it was appalled._

I felt like my blood had turned to fire, racing through my veins and scalding everything in its path. But even in such indescribable pain, I heard what Carlisle had said. Bit me. James bit me. What I was feeling was his venom, coursing through my body, changing me. Making me like him.

Making me like Edward.

Suddenly jolted from my pain-hazed realization, I heard Carlisle's voice. " _There may be a chance._ " He sounded indecisive. " _See if you can suck the venom out. The wound is fairly clean."_

Suck… the venom… out?

Another wave of pain came crashing through me from the point on my hand where, I now knew, a vampire's bite bled sluggishly. I tried to resist the urge to scream as it ripped through me. With one part of my brain I heard Edward agonizing over the choice he was suddenly given. But I knew I had only seconds to make a choice of my own.

 _I realized my eyes were closed again. I opened them, desperate to find his face. And I found him. Finally, I could see his perfect face, staring at me, twisted into a mask of indecision and pain._

" _Alice, get me something to brace her leg!" Carlisle was bent over me, working on my head. "Edward, you must do it now, or it will be too late."_

I saw the doubt in his eyes. Doubt if he could do something so risky without killing me, doubt if it was even the right choice. And in that moment, I made my own decision.

"No," I choked out. "Edward. No. Don't."

He stared at me beseechingly. "Bella, if I don't do this you'll be cursed! To be- like us- forever!" His beautiful voice seemed to break. His eyes showed his emotional turmoil and self-loathing.

"I… I know." I choked. "Want… you." I gasped as the pain ripped through me again. No. I would not succumb. Not yet. Not when there was still one thing left to say. "I love you. Edward… Cullen. Forever." I saw his beautiful eyes widen in shock and something else, something that in my pain-fuelled haze I couldn't decipher. Then I screamed, and the scream went on.

And on.

And on.

* * *

He stayed with me. I knew it, even when the pain became so intense that it seemed like nothing else could exist, in that moment, but the venom and my body fighting a doomed rebellion. Even then, I knew.

The pain never decreased, but after some time it seemed that my mind began to expand. Though I still felt every fraction of that mind-burning agony, I was able to perceive the outside world. And though I could tell by the air currents and the scent that I was not in the ballet studio any more, he was there, still. Always and forever.

"Edward-" I felt like I was dragging his name from the back of my throat. I was raw, everywhere. And still the pain did not lessen. I choked back a moan of pain.

I felt him by my side, radiating coolness. I tried to open my eyes, to look at him.

"Bella?" He sounded worried. And angry. "Bella, love, are you all right?" I felt the air displacement as he shook his head quickly. Funny, how I could think about that while still struggling with all my being not to scream from the liquid fire coursing through my body. "Of course you're not all right. How could you be?" My eyes finally found him. His perfect face was torn by a rictus of despair and loathing. Had I made the wrong choice? Did he hate me now? Was he panicked or disgusted at the thought of having an obsessed hanger-on following him for eternity? My breath quickend. "Bella, I am so sorry. I should have been faster. I could have gotten the venom out. Then none of this would be happening to you." Ah. So the loathing was for himself, and his inaction. Well. I focused on forming words into sentences and delivering them audibly, when all my mouth wanted to do was scream.

"No." It came out like a pained whine. I tried again. "No. Edward. Don't… be sorry." I gasped, and felt a grimace form on my face. "I… wanted this. Wanted you. Love you. Forever." I breathed in harshly through my teeth. "Now… I can. My choice. I choose… you."

I heard him suck in a surprised breath, habit after years of imitating humans. He seemed about to say something, but my ability to hold back my shrieks had disappeared. So I stopped trying.

As the scream burst from my throat, I felt his cool hand slip into mine.

* * *

The pain had become so much a part of me that when it suddenly vanished I almost didn't believe it. Edward had talked to me the whole time, telling me what to expect, what to look for, how it would be when the process was complete. Still, it was a surprise.

I blinked my eyes open. Everything was so much clearer now. I couldn't help marveling at the beauty of everything I saw, but still my eyes roved, searching for one thing in particular.

Finally, they landed on him.

Edward.

I had never truly seen his face until this moment- or at least, that was how it felt. But I knew it was him. He was looking at me uncertainly, not sure how I would react.

I ignored all the other intriguing sensory input that my brain was clamoring for me to pay attention to and stood. I refused to let myself be distracted even by the strangeness of that sensation. I went to his side.

"Bella? How do you feel?" His voice was smooth, betraying no emotion, but I could read the conflict in his molten eyes. He loathed himself for not stopping James, and for everything that happened after. And he loathed himself for feeling the slightest bit of selfish happiness that I was now like him.

That was not something he needed to feel.

"I feel…" How to put it into words? So many choiced appeared in my new vampire mind, but I discarded them all. There was only one feeling that mattered.

"Edward, I love you. No matter what," I promised. Then I kissed him.

And as I was really kissed by Edward for the first time, my perfect vampire memory labelled that moment as the beginning of our eternal life together.

Always and forever.

* * *

 **A/N: Well, that's all, folks! Hope you enjoyed! I'm imagining how the rest of the conflicts in the other books would go if this is how Twilight had ended… well, New Moon: that Jacob love-triangle thing wouldn't happen. And the Volturi would never meet Bella, cause Edward wouldn't go off being all emo and self-sacrificing. Eclipse: I'm thinking Victoria would have a much harder time killing Bella now that she's a vamp. So that would probably end a lot quicker. And Breaking Dawn: straight up wouldn't happen. Yay! So many problems resolved! But a lot less books sold ;)**

 **Remember, reviews are lovely!**

 **-Raven**


End file.
